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Posts Tagged ‘illness’

Thank Goodness

‘Tis indeed the winter of our discontent. It’s freezing cold. The days still seem too short. Bills are due.  Quarterly taxes and property taxes are due (at least mine are). Income is stagnant or going south. You aren’t headed south, however, especially if you happen to slip on the damned ice and break your wrist, which I did.

So now I’ve got six weeks in a cast, trying to eke out assignments one-handed and cursing the Fates for my latest bout with bad luck. Except I’m not going to do that.  Yes, my wrist hurts – actually, all of me hurts. No, I can’t drive or do most of the things I’d planned. But I am resolved not to drive myself or my sainted sister who is helping me while she’s attending graduate school full time crazy. Instead, I’m going to play a little game I made up called “thank goodness” (or “thank god” for those less easily offended).  It involves coming up with a list of things that could be worse  before which you can say “thank goodness”.  I know, but give me a break; I’m supporting a sling and a cast around a neck with two herniated disks. Whoops, I’d better start playing!

Thank goodness:

  • I broke my left wrist, since I’m right-handed
  • I live in a place where neighbors rushed out to help when I yelled and even walked my dog
  • I had a cell phone and could call my sister, who lives nearby
  • I have health insurance

See how it works? It’s tricky for someone in my position who might prefer throwing herself a pity party, but it’s definitely worth the effort in terms of overall mental and physical health. Best of all, it can be applied to any situation. For example, thank goodness:

  • I didn’t end up scoring any Inaugural invitations, since I wouldn’t have been able to go
  • The Inauguration is actually, finally going to take place and last November wasn’t a dream
  • The pilot of US Airways Flight 1549 knew how to land on water
  • There may– may — be a cease-fire in Gaza
  • Patrick Swayze appears to have beaten back his pneumonia attack

 Of course, somewhere in the bowels of February, when it seems spring will never come, President Obama will never get a handle on our domestic and foreign policy messes and my cast will never come off, I may have trouble playing my little game. I only hope I can come up with something like “thank goodness I’ve learned to type with one hand.”

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A-Phooey

I was mugged last week. I never saw it coming.

My attacker, I should point out, was not human or animal but rather viral in nature. It delivered a one-two punch to the lower abdoman while I sat in a coffee shop working, on this very blog and sipping a large cup of decaf. “Ah-ha,” I thought, “this coffee’s too strong.” That was my last clear memory before doubling over as the blows from the unseen assailant kept coming. Staggering out of cafe, I made it to my car and drove home, where I washed down a Zantac with some of that stuff that’s supposed to coat your stomach. I managed to get a leash on the dog and get out, wherupon I doubled over again, causing my neighbor, also out walking her dog, to ask if she could help. “Gas,” I gasped and stumbled back to the house with the puzzled pooch.

The next 24 hours were a blur but I know they involved a couch, a bed, a blanket, an anxious dog, the kind ministrations of a family member and frequent visits to the bathroom.  What they did not involve were food or rest. My stomach, a sensitive sort on the best of occasions, took the worst of it. My throat didn’t do so well and I actually bruised a rib, thanks to…oh, I think you can figure it out. Clearly, this had been a particularly viscious assault.

There are lots of tips about surviving flu season although apparently none of them include warnings about when the damn thing starts. While it’s true I procrastinate every year, I generally end up getting a flu shot sometime in mid-November. The shots do not prevent flu but they soften the blow. At least they have in years past, where I remember mild discomfort if anything at all but nothing like this.

The flu is going around, my friends have told me. Why so many incidents so early is probably the subject of a separate debate. Was the unusually warm autumn – a breeding ground for viruses and how does global warming factor in? Are there new drug-resistant strains out there entering the US along with all sorts of tainted products and people that make it past porous ports, bungling bureacracies and bantamweight border patrols? Could this all be part of a plot to weaken us, foisted upon a complacent populace by this or that organization or cell or nepharious group bent on world domination? See, lots to think about it, once you get past the nausea and pain. But since it’s impossible to think when you feel like utter crap, my advice is to turn off the news, turn down the light and go with the flow because, for a brief period of time, you are at the mercy of a tiny terror.

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